You are only as happy as your unhappiest child

I have been filled with anxiety lately regarding my daughter.

She has been diagnosed with ADHD since she was 4 1/2. Now I know that is a bit young but believe me when I tell you I would not have even gone down the path of getting her diagnosed unless it was interrupting with her daily functioning.  She could not sit still to save her life. She would be bouncing off the walls to the point where she would fall or get injured in some way. She was taking focus from all other kids around her because if you took your eyes off her for one second the would be running out the front door. She could not pay attention when school started. She was crawling under her desk and jumping up and down and could not pay attention to anything that was being taught in class.

So over the summer, the wife and I decided to take her off her Strattera to see how her behavior was. I wanted to see if now since she is 8, maybe she could control herself better and not need to be medicated. But issues arose the minute 3rd grade began. I received a call from the guidance counselor with some concerns.

I have been in constant communication with her school and teachers since kindergarten. They are very good at helping my daughter with daily classroom activities and keeping me informed on how things are going. So when I got the call of “concern” it made me jump into action.

I made an appt with the PA she sees that prescribes her medicine. I got an appointment for the next day. We started her back on her medicine (the wife was not happy about this) but I felt its what was best for her.

Strattera is a medication that has to build up in your system. It is not like Adderall or Ritalin. It will not take affect an hour after you take it. It can take up to 3-4 weeks to see improvement.

Well nothing has been improving yet and it is getting me so anxious and concerned. I remember a long time ago before I had a kid, someone said this to me: “you are only as happy as your unhappiest child.” I have never found this to be MORE TRUE in my life.

Watching her get in trouble all the time, and watching her struggle with her homework so much is heartbreaking.

The wife and I are on opposite ends of the spectrum with how to deal with her. I take the softer approach. I like to sit next to her and basically hold her hand and let her know I love her. The wife however believes more in a stern approach. She does not care how upset the kid gets or how much she cries. Like when doing homework she will tell her to “figure it out,” when she says she doesn’t know how to do something. I mean we go over the work several times before saying “ok, now its time for you to try it on your own.” But the second she is left to do it herself, she breaks down and cries and 1 sheet of math homework ends up taking 3 hours.

I hate the feeling of not knowing what to do. I wish I had someone who could say. “If you do A, B, and C, then she will turn into a productive adult and live happily ever after.”

I guess I am just trying to deal with the blows as they come. Take each day at a time.  I love my daughter more than anything in this world and I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I can get through this tough time with her and help her during this transition.

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