Today is the 2nd day of my 4 days off from working in the ER and its wonderful. No call bells, no codes, no smelly old people who shit themselves…it’s truly truly wonderful.
This morning began at around 5:45 am. The kid and I had a sleep over at the wifes house. We all shared a room so the kid wouldn’t get scared in an unfamiliar sleeping space. Now I was always that Mom that made my kids sleep in their rooms by themselves. No “co-sleeping” in my bed. And last night was a reminder why.
My kid needs the room to be a certain temperature, there has to be a night light that emits the perfect amount of wattage, and there has to be some kind of white noise because the quiet scares her. These quirks are all fine…as long as they don’t fuck with my sleep. So needless to say I got a horrible nights sleep.
So after getting up and coming home, we got the kid ready for sleepover with grandma Friday’s! My favorite night of the week! I dropped her off a little earlier than normal. My mother was still asleep on the couch and woke up something fierce. Her hair was matted to her head and her pants had ridden up to where her ankles and camel toe were out in full force. I politely said “good morning!”, tossed the kid in and ran.
I had to then take the wife to her shrink. I did not mind this because I myself have a shrink. Everyone really should to be honest. But here comes the exciting part…her shrink is right next door to my all time favorite store…the HOBBY LOBBY!
Now I know that Hobby Lobby hates the gays and is super Red but hey, they have the cutest shit ever. So, I keep my political views and morality locked in the new Lexus and I head into the store. I should never be left alone in that store. I walk up and down every aisle as if I am on an expedition to find the cutest home decor at the best price.
Before I know it an hour had gone by and I ended up spending $50.00 on absolutely nothing! Like literally. I sat in the car afterword and could not wrap my head around how something like this could happen…again.
I then picked up the wife from her doc and we headed out from there.
She got a tattoo of Pinky Pie from My Little Pony tattooed on her arm. Her and I both hate Pinky Pie. The kid loves Pinky Pie….Pinky Pie is the annoying, loud, obnoxious pony that all the other ponies hate. Pinky Pie is a cunt face.
After all this excitment we returned home to get ready for a night on the town. But I forgot that I am an old boring mom who doesnt stay up past 10pm even when my kid is not home. So instead, she made me chocolate chip pancakes while I blog. I wouldn’t ask for anything different.